How Leaders Should Use the "F" Word
Today, we're talking about FEEDBACK (yes, that's the F word; calm down), so let's cut to the chase!
You've probably heard that our brains have a built-in tendency to remember negative experiences more acutely than positive ones. Without running you down with neuroscience concepts, this is partly due to our brain's propensity to identify and avoid threats in the name of survival and efficiency. This primitive function in our brains can lead us to overshadow multiple affirmations in favor of one shoe out of place. That's why a barrage of corrections, no matter how well-intended, can feel like an assault rather than guidance.
Research in organizational behavior suggests a 'magic ratio' of 5:1 in feedback—that's five positive comments for every negative one. Keep in mind that this is not to inflate egos or shy away from the hard talks but to create a culture where feedback is a tool for elevation, not deflation.
And I'll take a shot in the dark here: perhaps the reason positive feedback is overshadowed by its negative counterpart is that when the two are pitted mano y mano, a five-second pat on the back has as much a chance against a 15-second butt-chewing (real or perceived) as a snowball during a Texas summer. And y'all, Texas summers are built different.
The Flaccidity of Generic Praise
A pat on the back is easy. "Good job," "Thank you for your hard work," and the like may be said with great intentions. While it's essential to recognize effort, it's devoid of context and specificity, making this feedback a missed opportunity for genuine engagement. It's akin to passing someone on the street and saying, "Nice weather we're having." It's polite but unmemorable.
The Potency of Specific, Unrefined Criticism
On the flip side, let's talk about the hard-hitting feedback. Picture this: a report is due; it's turned in and met with an exhaustive rundown of every error—no detail spared. This might feel like constructive criticism and leadership, but it's akin to bulldozing rather than constructing. It leaves the landscape flat and barren with the hard hats raising their hands, bewildered at what the heck just happened.
Another way to look at this: if your negative feedback is akin to a Michelin-star restaurant and your positive feedback to a fast-food chain, is it any wonder why your team is demoralized?
How to Strike the Right Balance
The key is balance and precision. Affirm the good specifically and correct the errors constructively. As you progress, here are some actionable steps to consider:
Track Your Feedback: Monitor how often you give positive versus negative feedback. Aim for at least (yes, at least. Don't skimp out!) five positive pieces for every negative one.
Cultivate Awareness: Recognize your own biases. Be aware that negative feedback has a more substantial impact, and adjust your approach accordingly.
Positive Feedback Bank: Develop a 'positive feedback bank'. Regularly note down positive aspects of each team member's performance. Refer to these notes when giving feedback to ensure you meet the 5:1 ratio.
Structured Reflection: After each project or major task, take time to reflect on what went well. Share this with your team before diving into what could be improved.
Specific Praise: When you see good work, praise it specifically. Instead of a generic "good job," highlight exactly what was done well. This reinforces actions and makes "good job" feel less like a lie when paired with negative feedback.
Constructive Criticism: When offering criticism, be specific about what needs improvement and offer clear, actionable steps on how to do so.
Personal Development Plans: As much as possible, work with each team member to create personal development plans that include positive objectives based on their strengths and areas for growth.
Celebrate Successes: Make it a habit to celebrate successes, both big and small, to create a positive atmosphere that balances out the inevitable moments of critique. I say inevitable because how often do we complain about negatives without a second thought? The same can be done for what goes well. No excuses.
It’s easy to think feedback is all about course correction. While that’s important in any organization, it’s just as important to see feedback as an opportunity to build pathways for success, one specific, constructive comment at a time. So the next time you're about to give feedback, pause, consider the impact, and make sure it serves as a catalyst for growth, not a setback.
Here's to using the F-word wisely—feedback, of course!
